2005: The Year of Death
Hello again, everyone!
As you can probably tell from the title, this hasn't exactly been a very good year, at least from my point of view. But this isn't one of my "pity me" posts - Just a therapeutic outlet for some of the thoughts going through my mind. (Where else would thoughts go through? The gutter?)
So please, bear with me... Or bare with me, if you are a nudist.
My father died at on January 4th this year, three days after my birthday, and that horrible event has apparently set the tone for the entire year. It seems like every other week at work we get an email about someone else who has either lost a parent or a spouse, so I know I am definitely not alone in my grief. The number of co-workers to lose a loved-one this year is quite high, even for the moderate size college where I work.
Then a friend of mine lost her father suddenly to a heart attack in February. And a lady friend of mine lost her husband earlier this month.
And then I found out yesterday someone I've occassionally chatted with online died within the past week. Surprisingly, even though I wasn't a very close friend to this online chatter, his death really shook me up. I think it is mostly because he always included his age in his chatting alias like I do, so I saw the number increase year after year. He was only 29.
I don't consider myself superstitious (Shut up about my UFO links), but it seems like death is penetrating my life little by little every week. I know it's completely psychological, but it's still unnerving. I think I've been relatively lucky throughout my short life (I still consider 34 very young, thank you!) that now that death (a natural event that is, sadly, a part of life) is happening closer to home, I am much more aware of it. Plus, I know we are all marching closer to death at different rates - I could live another 40 years or die before I publish this post. So it's easy to allow myself to dwell on death.
I don't fear death as much as I do dying. Actually, I don't fear dying so much as I do pain! Yes, I am a wimp, but at least I'm honest about it.
So right now, I'm trying to keep my sense of humor, trying not to allow myself to go to that "dark place" where suicidal thoughts reside, and plan to spit in the eye of Death for another day.
I'll end this post with a quote from Mike, a character in one of my favorite British comedies, "The Young Ones": 'Suicide may be a great hobby, but I wouldn't do it for a living.'
Stay safe and alive!
Drake
As you can probably tell from the title, this hasn't exactly been a very good year, at least from my point of view. But this isn't one of my "pity me" posts - Just a therapeutic outlet for some of the thoughts going through my mind. (Where else would thoughts go through? The gutter?)
So please, bear with me... Or bare with me, if you are a nudist.
My father died at on January 4th this year, three days after my birthday, and that horrible event has apparently set the tone for the entire year. It seems like every other week at work we get an email about someone else who has either lost a parent or a spouse, so I know I am definitely not alone in my grief. The number of co-workers to lose a loved-one this year is quite high, even for the moderate size college where I work.
Then a friend of mine lost her father suddenly to a heart attack in February. And a lady friend of mine lost her husband earlier this month.
And then I found out yesterday someone I've occassionally chatted with online died within the past week. Surprisingly, even though I wasn't a very close friend to this online chatter, his death really shook me up. I think it is mostly because he always included his age in his chatting alias like I do, so I saw the number increase year after year. He was only 29.
I don't consider myself superstitious (Shut up about my UFO links), but it seems like death is penetrating my life little by little every week. I know it's completely psychological, but it's still unnerving. I think I've been relatively lucky throughout my short life (I still consider 34 very young, thank you!) that now that death (a natural event that is, sadly, a part of life) is happening closer to home, I am much more aware of it. Plus, I know we are all marching closer to death at different rates - I could live another 40 years or die before I publish this post. So it's easy to allow myself to dwell on death.
I don't fear death as much as I do dying. Actually, I don't fear dying so much as I do pain! Yes, I am a wimp, but at least I'm honest about it.
So right now, I'm trying to keep my sense of humor, trying not to allow myself to go to that "dark place" where suicidal thoughts reside, and plan to spit in the eye of Death for another day.
I'll end this post with a quote from Mike, a character in one of my favorite British comedies, "The Young Ones": 'Suicide may be a great hobby, but I wouldn't do it for a living.'
Stay safe and alive!
Drake
posted by Drake at 2:58 PM
7 Comments:
Death is just a continuum of the soul....
Hello Zetazen!
I do try to keep an open mind to that, but sometimes it is hard to accept. I think spiritual-mindedness comes easier to some people than others.
But I still do appreciate your comment!
And if I may be so bold, you have some very captivating photos of yourself on your website. :)
Best Wishes!
Drake
My sympathies - I've lost 3 friends, all younger than me, in little more than a year and it stings like hell.
Drake - at the times they happened I would have given all my 'spiritual-mindedness' to get them back.
Hello Ruksak,
So sorry - I also send you my condolences.
It is so very difficult to accept the loss(es), but somehow we manage to go on.
Best wishes to you and stay safe,
Drake
I just saw your comment you left on my blog... which of course led me back to yours....thanks for the compliment and thanks for posting on my blog....
:-)
Hello again, Zetazen!
Cool - We're playing "blog tag!"
:)
Take care!
Drake
Hello Jenn,
Thank you so much for the compliment on my blog, and also for your condolences.
Best Wishes,
Drake
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