Selma Diamond (August 5, 1920 - May 13, 1985)
This is going to be one of the more revealing, personal posts that I, Drake, will probably ever post.
I have had several Xanax tonight, plus several cups of "Poison" - an 80 proof wildberry brandy. On top of that, I chain-smoked nearly a pack of Camel Lights. I'm a bit "messed up" tonight, but I think I can post somewhat coherently, if very slowly. Time is compressed tonight - Minutes feel like seconds.
This is a rather personal post, probably very stream-of-consciousness.
I've just come back in from outside from listening to several songs (with personal meanings to me) on my Rio MP3 player. I'm barely conscious at the moment - Hard to focus my eyes.
20 years ago today, an actress, Selma Diamond, died of lung cancer. She is probably best known as "Selma Hacker" on the sitcom "Night Court."
Selma Diamond as "Selma Hacker"
on NBC's "Night Court"
To make an extremely long story short, I had a terrible crush on her. In fact, I became infatuated with her just days before her death. I had no idea how ill she was.
It's all very hard to explain, even when I'm entirely sober. As I have strongly hinted in the past, I've been very attracted to older women.
I will warn you now, this is a very self-indulgent post. Plus, with the chemical "enhancements" tonight, my confession to the blog-world will probably be very confusing. Feel free to ignore this post and know that I am doing it for my own peace of mind.
I just came back from outside, listening to music, watching the world become a series of silhouettes - Black leaves and trees against a white, overcast sky. The world is very black and white to me visually, even if my emotions are several layers of gray.
To make a long story short, I became greatly infatuated with the 64 year old actress days before her death. I still have the video recording of the episode of "Night Court" from 1985, that honors her just days after her death.
I made a pact to myself to commit suicide on the one year anniversary of her death (May 13, 1986), but obviously I chickened out. Ironically, I began a 3+ year affair with a high school teacher on the 13th month of her death (June 13th, 1986). The teacher was 28 years older than I. This is a long story, worthy of a series of posts on its own.
At any rate, I remember hearing of Selma's death back on May 13th, 1985 (Some sources, however, date her death May 14th). Once I heard she died of lung cancer from smoking, after school (I was in the 8th grade) I immediately ripped out all cigarette advertisements from the "TV Guide." I was so disgusted, so disappointed with the news of her death. I swore then that I would never smoke.
Fast forward 20 years, and I'm now smoking with the best of them. I think if she were still alive, she would have continued to smoke. Some people make decisions on how to live their lives, consquences be damned. And I tend to respect that attitude.
So in short, if no one else in the entire world remembers Selma or the date of her death, I still do.
Drake
I have had several Xanax tonight, plus several cups of "Poison" - an 80 proof wildberry brandy. On top of that, I chain-smoked nearly a pack of Camel Lights. I'm a bit "messed up" tonight, but I think I can post somewhat coherently, if very slowly. Time is compressed tonight - Minutes feel like seconds.
This is a rather personal post, probably very stream-of-consciousness.
I've just come back in from outside from listening to several songs (with personal meanings to me) on my Rio MP3 player. I'm barely conscious at the moment - Hard to focus my eyes.
20 years ago today, an actress, Selma Diamond, died of lung cancer. She is probably best known as "Selma Hacker" on the sitcom "Night Court."
Selma Diamond as "Selma Hacker"
on NBC's "Night Court"
To make an extremely long story short, I had a terrible crush on her. In fact, I became infatuated with her just days before her death. I had no idea how ill she was.
It's all very hard to explain, even when I'm entirely sober. As I have strongly hinted in the past, I've been very attracted to older women.
I will warn you now, this is a very self-indulgent post. Plus, with the chemical "enhancements" tonight, my confession to the blog-world will probably be very confusing. Feel free to ignore this post and know that I am doing it for my own peace of mind.
I just came back from outside, listening to music, watching the world become a series of silhouettes - Black leaves and trees against a white, overcast sky. The world is very black and white to me visually, even if my emotions are several layers of gray.
To make a long story short, I became greatly infatuated with the 64 year old actress days before her death. I still have the video recording of the episode of "Night Court" from 1985, that honors her just days after her death.
I made a pact to myself to commit suicide on the one year anniversary of her death (May 13, 1986), but obviously I chickened out. Ironically, I began a 3+ year affair with a high school teacher on the 13th month of her death (June 13th, 1986). The teacher was 28 years older than I. This is a long story, worthy of a series of posts on its own.
At any rate, I remember hearing of Selma's death back on May 13th, 1985 (Some sources, however, date her death May 14th). Once I heard she died of lung cancer from smoking, after school (I was in the 8th grade) I immediately ripped out all cigarette advertisements from the "TV Guide." I was so disgusted, so disappointed with the news of her death. I swore then that I would never smoke.
Fast forward 20 years, and I'm now smoking with the best of them. I think if she were still alive, she would have continued to smoke. Some people make decisions on how to live their lives, consquences be damned. And I tend to respect that attitude.
So in short, if no one else in the entire world remembers Selma or the date of her death, I still do.
Drake
posted by Drake at 10:56 PM
1 Comments:
Hello again, Jenn!
Thanks for noticing this post. She is still special to me, even though we never met. Funny how someone, a complete stranger like an actress, can affect someone's emotions.
I appreciate your comments!
Best Wishes!
Drake
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